this was on defamer this morning. all considered, this might be the greatest thing i have ever seen on the internet.
10.26.2006
10.25.2006
I'm trying to teach my kid about better eating habits
Reply to: danthrax737@riseup.net
Date: 2006-10-24, 9:39PM PDT
Hello, I am a television producer who values theatrical expression as a way of teaching a lesson. My child is almost seven years old now and I still can't get him to understand the importance of a healthy diet. So I want to gather a team of actors together to dress like human sized unhealthy food (pieces of pizza, fried chicken legs, cupcakes, and probably malamars, he loves malamars) and hide in the woods and scare him. His mother, my ex-wife Barbara, and he are going on a hike this weekend in Topanga canyon and I need you to dress like his favorite foods and really frighten him. I don't want this to be a game. I need you to be so upsetting that he never wants to eat pizza again. Tell him things no child should hear. Use your long nails to confuse him and lead him astray. Hit him with pepperoni. It is acceptable, nay preferred, that you scare Barbara as well. I will need you to bring me either a lock of the child's hair or a recording of his screams to let me know that you have accomplished your goal. Actors that have their own pepperoni pizza costume prefered.
Date: 2006-10-24, 9:39PM PDT
Hello, I am a television producer who values theatrical expression as a way of teaching a lesson. My child is almost seven years old now and I still can't get him to understand the importance of a healthy diet. So I want to gather a team of actors together to dress like human sized unhealthy food (pieces of pizza, fried chicken legs, cupcakes, and probably malamars, he loves malamars) and hide in the woods and scare him. His mother, my ex-wife Barbara, and he are going on a hike this weekend in Topanga canyon and I need you to dress like his favorite foods and really frighten him. I don't want this to be a game. I need you to be so upsetting that he never wants to eat pizza again. Tell him things no child should hear. Use your long nails to confuse him and lead him astray. Hit him with pepperoni. It is acceptable, nay preferred, that you scare Barbara as well. I will need you to bring me either a lock of the child's hair or a recording of his screams to let me know that you have accomplished your goal. Actors that have their own pepperoni pizza costume prefered.
10.24.2006
give it a chance
i was skeptical, as you surely must be. but this is in fact pretty funny. thank you to jason.
10.23.2006
crisis
rhythm nation dancer.
jared fogle.
italian astronaut.
bruce vilanch.
it used to be so easy, halloween.
i must face the possibility that i have set the bar too high.
WHERE IS MY GORDON GARTRELLE ORIGINAL?
jared fogle.
italian astronaut.
bruce vilanch.
it used to be so easy, halloween.
i must face the possibility that i have set the bar too high.
WHERE IS MY GORDON GARTRELLE ORIGINAL?
10.21.2006
10.20.2006
beware
what an exciting weekend this promises to be. dinner with a lady! white magic! fancy pant art openings! hippies!
laris, call me back.
10.19.2006
the teamwork to make the dreamwork
hi everyone. things are happening. crazy times.
take a moment to read this excerpt from the wikipedia entry on "zubaz":
"Because of the fabric used and the cut of the pants, it has been cited that they are akin to "a crockpot for your pork." The main reason behind this is that they do not breathe like today's common exercise attire, therefore they capture a large amount of heat and sweat."
10.18.2006
10.16.2006
10.13.2006
post-nuclear testing precautions
take note:
"Intelligence photographs of North Korea's nuclear test site showed technicians playing volleyball this week near the tunnel where a nuclear device was unsuccessfully set off on Sunday....
The Japanese intelligence agency also had access to the photographs, and according to U.S. defense officials, they reported that a sports activity so close to a nuclear site was inconsistent with post-nuclear testing precautions, since the underground tunnel where the test took place was located several hundred yards away."
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